Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Belated Halloween Post


Halloween was a success. Sort of. It all really depends on whether or not you're a glass half full or half empty kind of person. I'm the half empty kind. Things could have gone a little better, but not anything that we were in control of.

Super driver picked up the rental chairs and brought them over. Halloweenies and cupcakes were done on time, and were delicious. Bat fries were nixed off the menu at the last second. There just wasn't enough time in the morning. Guests were scheduled to arrive at 1:30. However, this was a word of mouth kind of thing.. so.. that was one of the things that didn't work out.

Goth Neighbor A { names changed in case of doom } stopped by with her three boys a little early. They were on their way into the city, so of course, understandable. One of the boys was Frodo, the other was a random spooky demon with LED eyeballs. Very righteous. The baby was an elephant, and totally adorable. They brought over a candied apple. It's been ages. I felt bad for not having a present to return. I did give the boys candy for their trick or treating though.

Lady Twice Removed arrived with her little boy in tow, and it's been forever since we've laid eyes on him. He was definitely one of the up-swings of the afternoon. He was Spiderman for the day, and let me tell you, Spiderman totally enjoyed the halloweenies. Not so much the cupcakes, but he made a concession for the frosting.

Everyone else who stopped by did so at sort of random, popping in and out, not really staying for long. One particular batch of guests missed the other batch entirely, which was sort of a running thing that day. Totally drove me up a wall and reminded me where The Brat gets his OCD from. Gah. Is it really too much to ask that everyone show up in an orderly fashion, sit, drink punch and talk to each other amicably? Next year, cell phones will be banned in my house.

I'm already one of those people who doesn't believe in them. I hate BlueTooth earpieces. No one needs to be that damn attached to a phone unless they have a spouse about to go into labor any second now.. and even then.. why the hell are you away from your person of interest? In the future, my future not the world's future, all mobile phones will be banned from parties and other festive events. I have a house phone. Should someone need to find you in case of an emergency they can call my house number, where I will screen the call according to the severity of the "emergency". And yes, I will want to see hospital bills before you get invited to my next event.

Furthermore. Blah. I make it sound horrible, but it wasn't. Just awkward here and there. Lady Twice Removed happens to be a very popular neighbor, which means she can't get through a sentence without having to wave at someone or return a called out greeting. It bothers me to watch, but I can't imagine having to actually be her. It's precisely why I would make a horrible celebrity. I keep my circle of friends small, and they all know my quirks. I'm not shy about them. I am an only child, and was raised with almost impeccable manners. I say almost, 'cause duh,  someone with really great manners wouldn't brag about them. So, I'm fine with less than great manners and bragging rights.

If I am speaking to someone, particularly if I'm in the middle of a sentence and you interrupt, I will reduce you to a grease spot on the sidewalk with my glare. People, being a resident of The Bronx does not automatically make us crass hooligans. Freaking step up to me, wait for a natural break in the conversation, then proceed. It's freaking grammar school etiquette.


There were two girl children whom I shall not rant about. At least, not right now. Manners. They need some. End of story.

The saddest part of the evening was realizing that the reason almost no children trick or treat in my building isn't because the economy sucks or because parents around here just aren't into it... but because they take their kids to trick or treat at stores. WTF?!?! You're supposed to knock on doors not trick or treat at the freaking dry cleaners and the pizza shop. If they were just added bonuses that would be cool, but the only trick or treaters I got were kids who lived on my side of the building who just happened to walk by the open door and notice the haunted house thing going on.

Forty dollars worth of candy for nothing.

Now that I have thoroughly trashed my favorite holiday of the year.. Pictures anyone?

 Our violently green kitchen. Yes it is that color on purpose. It was better than something out of Fool's Rush In.
 Our creepy dollies. I'm thinking of letting Punky do these captions, as I apparently suck at them. She did the dark haired doll, I did the blonde. -snicker- I said " I did the blonde." She's my rape victim. Punky and I aren't sure if she's some sort of wonky expression on my inner demons.
 Our vampire tea party. Punky took lots of pics. Flash on, Flash off. We put in a red lightbulb in our hallway for extra spookiness, but it made for awkward picture taking.
 That's Harry. He's one of those changing portraits. One second he's a normal old man, the other a hungry vampire.
 This one is Bruce. George is next to him holding his head. Our hallway is narrow, and Punky had a hard time capturing it right.
 This one is Ben.
 Beatrice and Bernadette. Our twins.
 What our foyer/hall looks like from the door. Don't mind the hideous tile on the floor, that's a rant for another day.That's Albert on the wall by the way, standing behind the netting.
 This is Voltaire, our very own zombie prostitute, hanging out in the candy bowl. The jars were an idea snatched from CreepyCupcakes.
 Better shot of the vampire tea party. Mostly my idea, but .. meh.. no one appreciates the details. One neighbor actually said that she hadn't noticed it was part of the decor, but had assumed we'd been eating off of the stuff.
 Another shot of Albert at our little witch station.
 The goodies table in the kitchen. Brew-Ha-Ha punch in the cauldron. Funfetti cupcakes that Punky made.
 Our talking skull that we rigged on to our lamp. He had longer hair before I accidentally butchered it and gave him emo hair. Punky and I still crack up about it.
 A better shot of him.
 Our candy table again.

 The witch station in better lighting.
 Up close shot of those oh so ignored details.

 Louis and my whore ghost lady. She's on the list of spookables I'd bow-chicka-wow-wow. Along with the nurse lady from Silent Hill. As long as I put down a tarp. Punky said so.
 Them in better lighting.
 Albert. Hanging out. Watching over stuff.
Albert, mummy in red.

And those be our Halloween pics. More on the individual details in another post. After I eat some candy and put away the angry ranting.


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